I’m Deborah and he’s David. We were married in 1992 after a whirlwind romance and almost immediately began having children–four in the next six years to be exact. He works in aviation and I plan to do a little of everything before I die. My degree is in journalism and I worked as a reporter for a few years before I had children, did some freelance writing after, and have done lots of jobs since, but never give my full heart to anything else as motherhood is really my life’s work. The other stuff just gets in the way.
We practice peaceful parenting, our politics lean toward anarchy and we subscribe to many Buddhist teachings, but we aren’t really crazy about labels of any kind. Many of our choices fall outside the mainstream, but a few are riding the current. We support equal rights for ALL people, believe helping others is a human obligation not an option, seek to improve ourselves always, and judge others never. We are imperfect and sometimes we fail, but we always get back up again.
I love, love, love being a full-time homeschooling mom and although we decided not to procreate any more small people, I always knew there would be more to call me Mom. Because the “why” question always comes up, I’ll go ahead and answer it. My own childhood was difficult and I benefited often from the kindness of others who were in no way obligated to give it me. Aside from loving being a mom, I always wanted to give that back. I want it to matter that I was here and share my gifts for good.
So If you need some labels, here they are. We are a transracial adoptive family of special needs kids. We find ourselves in the odd place of watching our first children take flight as our last ones settle in. We adopted our daughter in December 2012 when she was 6 and had spent 4 years in foster care and adopted our son in May 2014 a couple of weeks before his 6th birthday. Are we done? I don’t know. We’ll see where the wind blows us.
In the meantime, I want to share our story. Even though it is at times sad, frustrating, infuriating (insert whatever negative adjective that comes to mind), it is ultimately one of hope and optimism and sometimes downright ridiculous. I believe in the power of love, and I choose to be happy. I believe we universally need to be more honest with each other and help each other as much as we can and in the world of older child adoption, we need it even more. I spent many very isolating years trying to figure this out alone and I’m ready to take it to the streets.
I love my kids with frightening ferocity. I strive to be what each of them needs me to be so that they can be the best they can be. I aim to help them choose joy, celebrate life, and enjoy the adventure. I hope our story brings a little light to your journey.